Hell

What a hell hole this place is

Cancer 2

Imagine being stuck
Where every nightmarish thing
walks and breathes and spills blood like wine
Imagine your father with skin like parchment
jaundiced
tired
lying on this field strewn with crying kids all screaming for mom
and you can do nothing
But watch him
as he tries to get up
and falls
and tries to get up
and falls
and you are so sore all over
from every night you have spent crying
and you weep and your throat closes up
and he still can not move
Imagine a house
where everything smells like bleach
and you feel death near like some people can feel a storm
your brother and sister are there
but they are so sore
so sore from the crying
and your father is walking down the stairs
with arms like spider legs
he is so skinny
nothing like himself
and you cant stop screaming
because it cant be him
it cant be that strong man that raised you
so you help no one
your father falls
and he cant get up
and you cant help him
you cant

Cancer 1

Out of my loneliness
Came The Rage
and in my desperation
I turned it inward
and made my insides crawl
and my outsides burn
And Now
All the yellow spotted flowers
are burning red
and the sky is lit up like the fourth
with pink ribbons of blood coating the place where our dreams bump and meet
I am sick of vomiting up my mistakes
But I see no way out
This is a cancer and its eating me whole

Some Self Reflection 2

There is a demon eating up the inside of my mind
Dark
Deep Down and Dark
I am inert
I do not move
I am sluggish
I am slow
I wish I could see

Blank

Obfuscation is freedom
Dancing in the chaos of a storm
Confusion is the bright light that draws you
Down dark alleys into the Eye
where everything is calm
and Horrible and still
and that absolute freedom weighs on you(us)
like a bunch of rotting skulls
All thought has left
you(me?)
This is my grace,
This is my prayer,
Dear God Im dying
Dear God Im lost
The night is close
The storm
The storm is raging

Dark Space

His Body is a Bone yard
Fragments wrapping around fragments
All sharp nooks and dark elbows
Today I saw a Dead Man walk from his grave to his bed
His thoughts painting the wall
His eyes are always carrying such dark places
I do not understand how he walks around completely silent when there is a war going on inside of him and it is bleeding noise



There is a ghost in your mouth
its all death your spitting out

Is this my body that I suffer in?

and there, in that most dark and sordid moment, we became alien to ourselves